Have you ever seen the movie Mom's Night Out? If you haven't, you should… I laughed, I cried, and I laughed some more. Mostly, the movie helped me to remember… I am not crazy. This mom thing is hard. And "stress paralyzed" is a very real thing.
As I sit here staring at my house, I KNOW that I should be moving… but I just can't seemed to find the motivation (courage maybe??) to get up and clean. I have a list of things I NEED to do, but they all seem unimportant as I sit and read a book and soak up a few quiet moments of my own time (I'm reading Unbroken by the way).
You see, I NEED to refill my tank so that I can unselfishly give of myself to a sweet little two year old. He's peacefully sleeping upstairs right now… I could just stare at him and listen to him breath deep full restful breathes, but I'm not... because I'm too afraid to wake him up! And when he moves, I drop to the floor and ninja crawl out of his room PRAYING that he didn't see me! Who needs Ninja Warrior?? Maybe there should be Mommy Ninjas… just sayin'.
Taking time for myself is important because my roll in life right now is to give… some days I feel like I can't possibly give any more, but then I am reminded of how God gave it ALL for me and I know that through HIS strength I can do it.
… cook dinner with a toddler attached to my leg begging for "uuuuupppp!"
… greet my husband with a kiss and a smile (especially because I know backup just arrived! haha)
… play trains over and over and over again despite the fact that my mind wanders to the load of laundry that has been washed but never put away.
… pick up/vacuum the toy the dog just destroyed out of jealousy - despite the text I sent to my husband saying "There may be a dog to bury when you get home." I MAY have been a little bit upset… we've all said things we don't mean :)
… sit and watch Thomas and Friends… again… because my little man just wants to snuggle for a bit.
Being a mom is the best thing that's ever happened to me, but perhaps the best reason is not what you may think. Most days, I find myself at the end of the rope and it is only then that I find God saying to me in the midst of the storm… "Come to me" and I find myself walking on water. Only GOD can do that… only God!
Labels: My Life